Heather's Poetry, Part 4

Once again, Heather has given us some of her amazing poetry. We are lucky to have someone as talented and diverse as her just sharing a piece of her soul. The word "genius" is thrown around too often, but not with work like this:

Welcome New Fans

We'd like to welcome all of the new visitors to this site - we hope you were touched (in your privates) by our documentary. There's a lot of info on this blog about us - maybe too much.

If you have any questions for the band, please email us at: assplosiontheband@gmail.com.

Until then, keep on truckin'!!

Love,
Assplosion
Heather
Mike
Jon
Adam

BREAKING NEWS: THE PREMIERE OF OUR MOVIE

By popular demand, we've bootlegged a copy of the movie. Here it is in high quality, but let it load for a moment. It's worth the wait:

Behind the Fake Music from Brian McCarthy on Vimeo.

And in youtube quality:

Last Night's Premiere Party Pictures

The premiere of the film went well, and for the most part, we don't have many objections to the content. There are a few moments that may shock and surprise some of you, but we don't apologize for anything in our past.

The after-party was, as usual, a bit f'ing crazy. We can't post most of the photos due to legalities, but here's the two safest pix, and of course, they give you an idea of how insane the party was:

NEWS ALERT: Documentary Premiere!!

You may notice a gap in our non-stop touring schedule tonight, and there's a good reason: we're attending the premiere of the behind the scenes documentary about us. That's right, it's an insider's look at what the band Assplosion is really like.

We do want to add a disclaimer: we still haven't seen it. We've fought internally about it, we've fought with the director about it, we fought with our management about it. We really don't know what we're in store for, so keep your fingers crossed and hope that it won't cause us to nearly break-up again.

If the thing is good, maybe we'll post some of it on this site here, soon.

Oh, and if you see two large spotlights in the LA area, they're probably outside of our premiere. We are kind of a big deal.

Heather's Poetry, Part 3

Once again, Heather has given us a poem to post for everyone. This is very deep:

Never Say Never

Hi guys, Jon here. The band has asked me to write to you directly, especially at this critical time.

Just the other day, we made the official announcement that Adam has left the band and would be replaced by Jay. But just as quickly as we welcomed Jay to the band, he's had to step aside due to severe health issues. We wish Jay the best as he recovers from his illness.

Without a drummer, the band faced a decision at the crossroads. We swallowed our pride and turned to an unlikely source for help: we'd like to welcome Adam back to the band as our drummer.

We know this may be confusing to many of you, but after a few days apart, a few long conversations, a few tears, and a few hugs, Adam has agreed to rejoin us, as long as we continue repairing our relationship. It took an amazing set of circumstances to bring this group back to its original lineup, and we feel its the best lineup to continue on with.

While we regret the fact that Jay barely had a cup of coffee with us, we know that most of you will be thrilled that Adam is back. Things may appear normal, but there are many fences to mend with Adam, but I feel that we're on our way to better times, and a more perfect Union.

Press Release: Assplosion Welcomes New Member

Due to creative differences in our band, Adam Conger has stepped down from behind the drum kit. We want to wish Adam will in his future endeavors.

And with every goodbye, comes a hearty, "Hello!" We'd like everyone to welcome our new drummer, Jay Skowronek, who will be joining us, full-time, starting tonight.

This may come as a shock to many fans, but we could see this coming for a long time. It is natural to be upset, but we know that over time, you will come to accept Jay as a member of the band. He's incredibly talented and will help bring us to the next level.

And so, in honor of that Hollywood tradition of naming sequels, we want to introduce everyone, to Assplosion, 2.0: Assplosion Harder (This time it's personal!):
Keep On Rockin' In The Free World!
Heather
Mike
Jon

A Response From Adam

Responding to our singer's rant about why the band is in a state of flux...

Don't attempt to stand in a man's shoes when you haven't walked his path, especially since you're not even a man. 'Keeping rock 'n' roll alive?' I've made many attempts to remain cordial with the members of 'Splosion, but mainly, the likes of you. I've maintained a level of professionalism regardless of how many drugs I've ingested into my system. I have only cancelled one tour during the entire course of my run and that was the 'make-up' Tokyo tour. Now, shall I open that can of worms, Heather? Release the Kraken? Serve... Volley! You cancelled the England tour because you went to rehab, but I won't say why… we'll just let the readers of this site find out for themselves.

As for our fans — I will sweat, bruise, and bleed for you. And will continue to do so until the end of this tour. However, you deserve to hear Assplosion playing… not certain individuals forcing us to play her songs and not our songs. We're a four person band, not four solo acts. I don't tell her how to do her job. God forbid — could one imagine if I grabbed a guitar and started soloing along with Mike? That would never happen because I know my place. It's a shame… we were a gang. But ego and jealousy can get the better of anyone. I wish the best and plan to annihilate the stage in the last few shows of this tour.

A Post From Heather

I just wanted to address what happened at last night's show. Had a little turmoil on stage, as you probably all could tell.

Being in a band is a lot like being in a relationship. Sometimes you just don't get along. I guess there has been more turmoil lately, I guess, with the cancellations and all. It has been frustrating, I am not going to lie.

My career and life in rock 'n' roll has come with its ups and downs. Unfortunately, some people in this business don't realize how great of a life they have. Touring the world, meeting great people and fans all over the world. And just playing music for a living. I feel truly blessed. But sometimes the road can be draining for some. Being away from home and family does grind on you sometimes. With all the traveling and different beds. Personally, I love this and still can’t believe I am so lucky to still be doing what I do for a living.

Everybody could see who was unhappy last night, but all I can say is let's keep the rock alive, people!!!! In this life, you just pick up and keep moving. And don't ever let anybody stand in your way.

Heather's Poetry, Part 2

We've got something very cool for you guys: Heather wrote some more poetry while on the road, and once again, she wanted to share it with everyone, but this time, she gave us the original copy and said we could post it online.

Here's her newest, entitled "Backstage Haiku:"

Sell-Out? You bet!

We got your angry emails, and we understand that you feel we "sold out" by having Heather make an appearance at the Kids Choice Awards over the weekend, but it's getting harder and harder for bands to get exposure. The old outlets don't work like they used to: MTV doesn't show music, unless you're featured on "The Hills," and VH1 only has shows about washed-up celebrities going to rehab.

Everyone in the band debated this decision, but after much soul searching, they knew it had to be done. Heather volunteered to go because she knows that the KCA's are a great way for us to reach a newer and younger audience, one that we hope will grow up as fans of Assplosion. Plus, let's face it, by making an appearance, parents everywhere had to answer their children's question: "What's an Assplosion?"

Here's a snapshot of Heather after her triumphant walk down the orange carpet with Nick's pre-show host and Assplosion fan, Mark:
And you can see video of Heather's appearance on the KCA's here.